Second Day was way worse
Who would have thought, but the second day was worse. I woke up and just bawled. She woke me up every morning. She'd sense me move, then walk over top of me to get to my head. Then she'd head butt me and rub her face under my chin. If that didn't work she'd paw my face. Then we'd get up, I'd let her out, go turn the kettle on, put her food in her bowl. By that time I'd walk back to the door, and she'd be waiting to get to her food. She would run so fast she'd wipe out on the turn from the entryway to the dining room. Damn she liked her food.
We realized that it's always been the three of us. And now it seems like just the two of us. Thank god I have Dan. While we watch tv, it's hard, because with out realizing it we'll look to see where she is, if she's ok. It's the daily habits that are hard. 5 pm is hard, dinner time. I could care less when I ate, but boy did she know when it was 5. God forbid you were late with her food. And if Dan fed her, when I got home, she'd go stand by her bowl and pretend she hadn't been fed. Like just in case we don't communicate, she might get a second helping. This has happened before, so she probably always had that hope.
I spent all of yesterday keeping busy. I dropped photos of to get enlarged or copied. I bought a frame and a scrapbook. I started working on those. I went with my dad and donated our 50 lb bag of dog food to the animal shelter. We went in to look at the dogs, but I couldn't deal with it. I didn't stay long. There was a cute little boy beagle, but he looked at me and whimpered and I had to get the heck out of there. I just feel tired too.
This morning was a bit better. I just miss her. I can see her everywhere I look.
I want to start getting organized to call vets this weekend to start looking for breeders. That will keep me busy. But this weekend it's supposed to be 68 degrees and sunny. We're thinking about doing yard work. Which will suck. She'd just go outside with us. Hang out with me for a bit, then hang out with him for a bit. Lay in the sun near us. Walk around sticking her head in underbrush, smelling stuff.
When I got to work today I found a bunch of photos of her that I didn't realize I had. Great ones. Really happy I still had them to add to the book.
This might be my theme for awhile, at least until we get a puppy, and this blog will get a bit cheerier then.
We realized that it's always been the three of us. And now it seems like just the two of us. Thank god I have Dan. While we watch tv, it's hard, because with out realizing it we'll look to see where she is, if she's ok. It's the daily habits that are hard. 5 pm is hard, dinner time. I could care less when I ate, but boy did she know when it was 5. God forbid you were late with her food. And if Dan fed her, when I got home, she'd go stand by her bowl and pretend she hadn't been fed. Like just in case we don't communicate, she might get a second helping. This has happened before, so she probably always had that hope.
I spent all of yesterday keeping busy. I dropped photos of to get enlarged or copied. I bought a frame and a scrapbook. I started working on those. I went with my dad and donated our 50 lb bag of dog food to the animal shelter. We went in to look at the dogs, but I couldn't deal with it. I didn't stay long. There was a cute little boy beagle, but he looked at me and whimpered and I had to get the heck out of there. I just feel tired too.
This morning was a bit better. I just miss her. I can see her everywhere I look.
I want to start getting organized to call vets this weekend to start looking for breeders. That will keep me busy. But this weekend it's supposed to be 68 degrees and sunny. We're thinking about doing yard work. Which will suck. She'd just go outside with us. Hang out with me for a bit, then hang out with him for a bit. Lay in the sun near us. Walk around sticking her head in underbrush, smelling stuff.
When I got to work today I found a bunch of photos of her that I didn't realize I had. Great ones. Really happy I still had them to add to the book.
This might be my theme for awhile, at least until we get a puppy, and this blog will get a bit cheerier then.
posted by Ren at 8:15 AM
<< Home