Well that didn't work.
This morning was cycle day 27. Wouldn't have been expecting a period until tomorrow or Monday, but woke up with soaking pajamas. My best, favorite, brand new jammies to boot. Really, really, reallllllllyyyy sucks. It just makes me so tired. You want to be excited, but you constantly restrain your emotions, yet you can't help day-dreaming about how exciting it would be to tell people the good news. And you have all that time after the procedure to wait and keep all that under control. Then you get your period and you do the same. You don't want to get too upset, you don't want to let it bother you too much. Then you worry about now having to pay for one more procedure. It's just draining. And we really felt strong about this one.
So I'll just keep busy. Our friends came to stay for the weekend last night. We didn't get the bedroom done, so we let them stay in our room. We slept on just the mattress on the floor in the unfinished room. Everyone but me has someplace to be this morning, so I'm going to paint the quarter-round and the doors - add another coat. Maybe go to yoga. Go to the store to get the stuff to make what we're taking to the shindig today.
We're supposed to go to an all day Engagement party. It's out at a friends family's property in Marshall county. On a ridgetop with a gorgeous view. Green Sky Bluegrass, the band that won Telluride bluegrass competition will be playing, a cook-out, lots of food and drinks, people, dogs. We're taking Ned. Should be a great time. Except it supposed to rain. All. Day. That could be bad and messy. Hopefully for our friends it doesn't. They're really excited about this party. They're haivng it in lieu of a reception as they are getting married in Oz next year. Jacinta is from Melbourne. Excited to know she'll be living here for awhile after the wedding before they move back there permanently. She's cool and wants to be in bookclub.
Back to the period. Something I'm having trouble letting go of: I had a friend get shitty with me last week - out of the blue got mad because she thought the fact I made a comment about knowing about the bands at V-fest meant I was super cool and she wasn't. Which was not what i meant at all. She then reamed me out about how I have no clue what it's like to have kids, etc and how she doesn't have time to be cool and know about music. It was actually pretty mean. Ya know - considering and all. That I would give Dan's left nut to have a kid and never know jackshit about the latest bands. I may not "have a freaking clue" about kids, but this friend has zero concept about worying about money. I get so mad when I think about what she said, then think about how worried I am about how much this is all costing us, whether or not we will ever get pregnant, what the f will we do if we have to adopt, how the f would we pay for that - while she's worried about picking out furniture for her Second Home. While caring for her two beautiful daughters. She was in a bad mood, or having a bad day or something when she sent the nasty email, I don't think she meant to be as mean as it came out. I don't think she meant or realized how it would hurt my feelings. It's just sometimes she lives in a completley different world than I do. I need to let it go - I need to not be mad about it. But when you get your period and need to be mad at someone or thing, this is what I'm focusing on. And being mad just makes me tired.
So I'll just keep busy. Our friends came to stay for the weekend last night. We didn't get the bedroom done, so we let them stay in our room. We slept on just the mattress on the floor in the unfinished room. Everyone but me has someplace to be this morning, so I'm going to paint the quarter-round and the doors - add another coat. Maybe go to yoga. Go to the store to get the stuff to make what we're taking to the shindig today.
We're supposed to go to an all day Engagement party. It's out at a friends family's property in Marshall county. On a ridgetop with a gorgeous view. Green Sky Bluegrass, the band that won Telluride bluegrass competition will be playing, a cook-out, lots of food and drinks, people, dogs. We're taking Ned. Should be a great time. Except it supposed to rain. All. Day. That could be bad and messy. Hopefully for our friends it doesn't. They're really excited about this party. They're haivng it in lieu of a reception as they are getting married in Oz next year. Jacinta is from Melbourne. Excited to know she'll be living here for awhile after the wedding before they move back there permanently. She's cool and wants to be in bookclub.
Back to the period. Something I'm having trouble letting go of: I had a friend get shitty with me last week - out of the blue got mad because she thought the fact I made a comment about knowing about the bands at V-fest meant I was super cool and she wasn't. Which was not what i meant at all. She then reamed me out about how I have no clue what it's like to have kids, etc and how she doesn't have time to be cool and know about music. It was actually pretty mean. Ya know - considering and all. That I would give Dan's left nut to have a kid and never know jackshit about the latest bands. I may not "have a freaking clue" about kids, but this friend has zero concept about worying about money. I get so mad when I think about what she said, then think about how worried I am about how much this is all costing us, whether or not we will ever get pregnant, what the f will we do if we have to adopt, how the f would we pay for that - while she's worried about picking out furniture for her Second Home. While caring for her two beautiful daughters. She was in a bad mood, or having a bad day or something when she sent the nasty email, I don't think she meant to be as mean as it came out. I don't think she meant or realized how it would hurt my feelings. It's just sometimes she lives in a completley different world than I do. I need to let it go - I need to not be mad about it. But when you get your period and need to be mad at someone or thing, this is what I'm focusing on. And being mad just makes me tired.
posted by Ren at 6:23 AM
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