Nap Time

Here's the boy napping. We can't figure out what's cuter, him awake and playing, or him sleeping. He's really found his voice lately. He throws out his little bark all the time now when he plays. When he wants attention, when he's being cheeky when we tell him 'no'. It's too funy. We have to really work at being stern with him. Except when he's really caught us good with the sharp puppy teeth. It can really hurt. Esp. the ankles and feet. We're continuing to work on stopping that. But we run around the house and play chase, he loves our bedroom. He runs and hides under the bed and darts out at us. And he loves jumping around the bed and crawling under the covers.

Get the Ball!

This is his red ball. It's hollow/mesh/holed - whatever. Anyways, we can fit a treat inside it. This is the best thing ever to keep him occupied and wear him out.

Rufus Sided TowHee

This little guy is a Rufus Sided TowHee. This is my favorite bird. They stick to wooded areas, and are pretty shy. You don't see them often, but we do get them under our feeder in the spring and summer. I like the coloring, and the fact that when you do see one it's kind of special.


Size: 7 - 8½"
Male has black head,neck, back and wings with a white belly and rufus sides. Female black parts are replaced with brown.

Voice: drink-your-tea. Also a tow-whee

Breeds across most of the continental USA into southwest Canada. Winters from California across to New England southward.
A very inconspicuous bird with variations in coloring and song across it's range.

Now back to our regularly scheduled puppies

Looks like he's ready for take-off. I took this last week when he was 5 pounds. I need to take a few more pics this week. He's already bigger than this.

We went to the vet Friday for his second vaccine shot. I hate these things but they're necessary. I don't like it though when they start pushing annual rabies vaccines and kennel-cough, etc. They don't need all of them and they don't need them that frequently.

Ned's been showing more and more personality. He finally barked at something. We took him over to meet Missy my parent's Boston terrier. Missy was actually afraid of him, but then she's literally passed out before from fright. In the end they played pretty hard for about a half hour before Ned passed out from being tired. He would bark at her thought to get her to play back or wrestle with him. It's pretty funny, it's a tiny little bark. We're not encouraging it, because later that could come back to haunt us. But a little bit is cute. Last night he played hard for a long time. When it came time to put him in his crate he just passed out. First night there was no crying. He did cry a bit when I got him up at 3 though. No accidents for a few days - housetraining is going great. Next week we'll probably start some basic leash training and 'sit/stay'. He's doing well with 'come'. Oh, and he seems to know his name!

My girlfriend brought her two girls up to see him over the weekend and they got a big kick out of it. They're slowly working up to getting a puppy soon.

What esle did we do last weekend?... Went out a bit Friday night for St. Patty's, but not long. Did stuff around the house Saturday and had a party to go to that night. It was fun. It was up at the cabins which is always a good time. oh, Sunday was bookclub. I had to hustle to get the friggin book finished Sunday before we left. It was fairly long and fairly dry. What made it worse was the end was boring compared to the beginning. Pretty bad when you consider it was a book about a hermaphrodite, and they only really talked about it toward the end. How do you make a hermaphrodite dull? But it was actually a really good book. Middlesex.

The best thing about the weekend though was we got the garden tilled by our neighbor. It looks great. I can't wait to start working in it, but since it's supposed to snow today, it might be awhile.

Gobble Gobble Hey!

Look, a post about Turkeys not puppies! This photo was taken of our backyard last Saturday. It had just rained and was kinda foggy. This huge flock of turkeys just appeared out of the bushes. They are dumb as rocks. They're also pretty huge. I think there were probably almost 20 turkeys total.

Bit of a close-up

This is a little closer. We're doing great. Two nights with no accidents in the crate. We do still have a few accidents in the evening though. One I could tell he was about to pee, so I picked him up to carry him out and created a sprinkler. Another time same thing, but when I put my hand under him to pick him up, he just peed in my hand.

I can not say enough how much he loves his food. He knows when he gets it now. Knows the sound of the food bag and the scoop. He just can't control his excitement over food. I bought him new food bowls last night, a new red ball and some Nylabone puppy chews and puppy treats. The puppy treats are like puppy crack. If he gets the faintest whiff you have one in your hand he goes nuts. He's going to throw his back out wiggling.

He also belches pretty good when he eats to fast. And then of course he's got some heinous puppy farts. Silent but deadly.

The teeth are still everywhere. I read that everytime he chews or bites us to pick him and say "no" in a very lo-stern voice, and jam something else in his mouth to chew on. We do this constantly. He doesn't like the toy we got him that squeaks. Freaks him out. Also, he doesn't ever bark or yelp at his toys. He only makes any sound when he's upset about being left in the kitchen or his crate.

I'll try to send some pics tomorrow that aren't orange. Maybe I'll even turn the flash on. Oh, almost forgot- Hello and a big "Shout Out" to our New York listeners! : )

walkin and shakin

Please note my cool slippers.

Mom can't hold the camera still...

I love my teddy

Our kitchen isn't orange, I just didn't use a flash and the lighting creates this weird color.

Introducing....

"Ned Devine"

Isn't he cute enough to eat with a spoon!? So the answer to the question "what happened over the weekend?" is....

Saturday afternoon we went to the shelter. The dog I had been interested in had been adopted the day prior. I felt good about that. There were two beagles at the shelter that were very cute and sweet looking, but you couldn't tell the age, and it just didnt feel right. Later that afternoon I got a call from a breeder. He said he had 4 little boys all almost 8 weeks old. Tri-color. $175, AKC purebred. (which is a good price. I've seen them as high as $400, $1200 for registered hunters) He wanted to know if we could come see them Sunday. I said I'd call him back. I was really upset. I even cried Saturday because I just didn't know what to do. I still miss her, but is it too soon? Did we want a boy? Again, will people think I'm callous cuz it's so soon?

I figured it would be ok to "look". Yeah right. D and I went and my parents came along. It was outside of Pittsburgh in Canonsburg off 19. The breeder raised beagles, horses and miniature donkeys. And was a pack rat. The house was just jammed with stuff. He brought out the four puppies. Two looked identical with darker heads, less of a blaze, lots of ticking. One had a much browner face and was a bit skinny and little. The last one had a perfect blaze and great tri-color markings. And he played a lot with his litter mates. Very playful. We got him out and played with him the most. I wanted to leave a deposit and come back for him the next weekend. I wasn't ready. We didn't have anything at home for a puppy, plus I wanted time to get used to the idea. The breeder didn't like the idea. He wanted them to go to homes soon. The older they get the less easy it is to imprint. Whatever. It worked. We took him home!

D and I sat in the back seat with him as we drove home. He was really skittish about all the noises. D's never had a puppy, so it was really special for him. On the way home we stopped and got a crate, a collar and two toys. The breeder sent us home with food. The crate we got is great. We bought it so it's big enough for him full grown, but it has a divider so we can make it smaller while he's still little. The first night he cried for about 2 hours. It's pitiful. High pitched for a long time, then as he gets tired it gets longer and lower like a howl. 'oh whoa is me' he seems to be saying. He is so sweet and playful and ornery and smart!Last night was his third night and he's already almost got the crate training licked.

Here's our schedule:
• Get home from work, let out Ned
• Feed Ned - he knows the sound of his food being poured and wiggles like crazy he's so excited
• Play a few minutes then outside to take care of business - lots of high pitched "Good Boys" when he does
• Back inside to play hard until about 7:30 - 8pm. He starts to crash then. He sleeps about an hour on our lap.
• 10 pm we're exhausted, so he goes in the crate
• 2 am I get up to let him out - puppy bladders can't hold it all night
• 6 am get up to get ready for work early so I can let him out, feed him, let him out and play
• Unless he's sleeping it's outside every hour on the hour. We've had very few accidents.

He already knows where the doors is to go out. He walks to it with us. Then when he's done outside, since it got cold again, he'll run to the door and wait to be let in. He doesn't like the cold and wind. I don't blame him. His favorite toy is his Teddy bear. It came attached to the flower arrangement our vet sent us. It's a little bit bigger than him, but he can carry it around. And he shakes it like he's breaking it's neck, which is what beagles do. When we have to leave him in the kitchen and he gets upset, he goes and gets his Teddy and sits with it in the corner and looks sad. But the little bugger can play non-stop! And he's really getting into chewing. Those tiny puppy teeth HURT! He got my nose and D's ear. We keep shoving a toy in his mouth to chew on instead of us. He's just so cute and sweet, and he makes us laugh and smile. Having a schedule again and having something to care for feels good. It's not the same, April was different. We still miss her. But it's good to not be sad all the time. I'm looking forward to training little Ned and taking long walks with him.

Get used to the Ned stories, I'm sure I'll be posting a lot of them. I can tell you right now he is going to destroy something important/precious/expensive.

Feeling Better

This morning was a good morning. After 2 glasses of wine I finally got relaxed enough to just fall asleep on the couch. It was well before 9. D walked me to bed and I finally got a good nights sleep. I dreamt about going to see puppies, but I didn't like any of them. I also dreamt that G was going with me, in a seperate car, and she called to say she had hit something, but it was still alive, we needed to take it to a vet. I'm like "is it just a racoon or something, just pitch if over the hill". She said no - it's a fox. Somehow this was a more sympathetic creature, so we were going to help it. But I never got that part in the dream.

I still miss Grape Ape, but it's beginning to be the look back at the funny stories part. We're going to work outside tomorrow though and it's going to suck. But we're also going to look at a little boy beagle. Just look. Although my friend J said "yeah right, that's like a price tag at Old Navy, why look at it, you know you're going to buy it". But I just want to test the waters.

Tonight I'm wrapping up my photo album/collage project. This weekend I'm going to start our garden seeds and need the table room. Plus I want to hang the collage.

That's about it. Monday I'll tell you how the weekend went!

Sunday's Comic Relief

Sunday afternoon and the height of our grieving, I heard Dan yell to come outside, we had visitors. I thought it was either a racoon in the garage, our actual neighbors, or the donkeys. No, it was the ponies. That's Dan petting Tickles. She was almost in the garage. Her buddy was at the end of the driveway. I coaxed him down to the yard with some apples. They're so funny and ornery. A lot of the neighbors HATE it when they wake up to find a stray horse, we however love it. They walked around eating all the good grass in our yard noone had gotten to yet. Dan said "There goes my Spring grass crop I guess". For a few minutes it was nice to pet them and feed them apples and just smile. We both said how Ape would've freaked if she came out of the garage and saw them. She was afraid of the horses cuz they usually come after her. Check out the rest of the pics below.

This is looking toward the end of our driveway. I'm on the road and he's inour neighbors field.

Just Tired & Keeping Busy

Today I just feel really tired and hollow. I didn't cry too much this morning. Last night I continued to work on my "Book of April" photo album. NOT a scrapbook. Blech! I hate all that scrappy scrapbook shit. I can't understand how women can spend hours and tons of money on that crap. Don't you have something better to do? Mine is pretty simple with photos and comments. I've written a bunch of Aprilisms to add to it. Everyday we think of more to add to the book. Looking at pictures of her constantly helps actually. It helps the emptiness a bit. We've been saying a lot "over where April is" meaning her grave. Dad signed up for an Abor Day foundation thing and we're getting like a dozen flowering trees. He wants to put one as a memorial for April. I think that's great. We'll have to cut down a Pawpaw tree or to to put it up. I want to plant some Shasta daisies and ferns around her as well. ( I think its funny and sadly sweet to say she's "pushing up daisies")

I've been looking at the local shelter websites. There is the cutest little 2 year old boy. He looks so damn sweet and cute. I saw him for about 10 seconds when I was at the shelter with Dad. Something about him, his eyes has stayed with me. I may ask Dan if we can go look at him Saturday. Part of me is excited about a new dog, part is sad. Part isn't sure when the right time to do it is. Will people think I didn't love her if I get a new dog too soon? I don't want to replace her. That will never happen. No dog will have her personality. I would also really like a puppy so Dan can experience that and pick one out. But I like the idea of rescuing a shelter dog as well. Maybe if we have full grown dog first, get them used to the house and us, and then a bit later bring home a puppy. I think that might work. But then do we get a beagle puppy or a lab puppy? Oh decisions. At least they keep my mind busy.

Needless to say the whole baby-thing is a bit side-tracked. I would have gone in this past Monday to start sonograms for an IUI. Hell no I can't think of that right now. If I did get pregnant the baby would be tri-colored and howl. We need to get a pup/dog first. Something we know we can have and love and care for. Then in the next month or two I'll get back on the bandwagon. Oh, and that "I'm not drinking cuz I'm trying to get preg" thing - out the window. I'm not chuggin back a six pack, but I have had a glass of beer each night. Helps my head and face relax so I can sleep a bit easier.

Second Day was way worse

Who would have thought, but the second day was worse. I woke up and just bawled. She woke me up every morning. She'd sense me move, then walk over top of me to get to my head. Then she'd head butt me and rub her face under my chin. If that didn't work she'd paw my face. Then we'd get up, I'd let her out, go turn the kettle on, put her food in her bowl. By that time I'd walk back to the door, and she'd be waiting to get to her food. She would run so fast she'd wipe out on the turn from the entryway to the dining room. Damn she liked her food.

We realized that it's always been the three of us. And now it seems like just the two of us. Thank god I have Dan. While we watch tv, it's hard, because with out realizing it we'll look to see where she is, if she's ok. It's the daily habits that are hard. 5 pm is hard, dinner time. I could care less when I ate, but boy did she know when it was 5. God forbid you were late with her food. And if Dan fed her, when I got home, she'd go stand by her bowl and pretend she hadn't been fed. Like just in case we don't communicate, she might get a second helping. This has happened before, so she probably always had that hope.

I spent all of yesterday keeping busy. I dropped photos of to get enlarged or copied. I bought a frame and a scrapbook. I started working on those. I went with my dad and donated our 50 lb bag of dog food to the animal shelter. We went in to look at the dogs, but I couldn't deal with it. I didn't stay long. There was a cute little boy beagle, but he looked at me and whimpered and I had to get the heck out of there. I just feel tired too.

This morning was a bit better. I just miss her. I can see her everywhere I look.

I want to start getting organized to call vets this weekend to start looking for breeders. That will keep me busy. But this weekend it's supposed to be 68 degrees and sunny. We're thinking about doing yard work. Which will suck. She'd just go outside with us. Hang out with me for a bit, then hang out with him for a bit. Lay in the sun near us. Walk around sticking her head in underbrush, smelling stuff.

When I got to work today I found a bunch of photos of her that I didn't realize I had. Great ones. Really happy I still had them to add to the book.

This might be my theme for awhile, at least until we get a puppy, and this blog will get a bit cheerier then.

Remember when I said...

things were going great for us? That all came to a screeching halt. Saturday.

We were in Rockville visiting friends when my dad called and said April wasn’t acting right. She was coughing constantly and seemed very lethargic and wouldn’t eat. For her not to eat is a major thing, so I told him to take her to the weekend ER vet and call me when he was talking to the vet.

Before I go any farther, let me say before this weekend, se was in awesome spirits. Really really active, she’d run to the house when we called her, she was very playful at home, just seemed to have lots of energy. She wasn’t coughing or snotty or any of he usual problems. We were even commenting throughout the prior weeks how much fun she seemed to be having. Maybe she was just trying to enjoy as much as possible.

At first I was thinking my dad was overreacting, but when he put the phone down for me to hear her cough, I knew something was wrong.I got on the phone with the vet. We talked about her age, she is 11, and she has fought back and bounced back from two bad cases of hemolytic anemia. So she has had a tough time medically, and she’s on constant prednisone. We talked about this new cough, I asked if it could be congestive heart failure. He said it might be, he had to take x-rays. He called me back and said her heart was very, very enlarged. It didn’t look good and that there might even be a growth/tumor on her heart. I said just make her comfortable and would she last long enough for us to get home. He said yes. We left and drove home and got home at 11pm. I drove the whole way. I needed something to do. We didn’t fly or anything, we weren’t going to the vet that night. But we did a lot of talking and crying those 4 hours. As soon as we got home I broke down. I knew what was coming.

I woke up at 6 and went through all my boxes and got out all my photos with her in them. Dan woke up and we went to the vet about 8 I think. We took her blanket with us. When we go to see her, she was in a bottom kennel crate. She didn’t wag her tail or whimper, she didn’t seem glad to see us, she seemed like she really didn’t feel good and was miserable. We stayed with her for a long time – until the vet came back. We looked at her x-rays, and talked a bit. We called my dad and had him come down. He was with me when we picked her out and actually was the one who said, "no, no- look at that one over there, see how she’s got her nose the ground, pick her."

So we were with her, holding her as we put her to sleep. She just went to sleep. I’ve never had to be so strong to make a decision. But we knew we had to. She couldn’t survive this, and we couldn’t stretch it out. It wouldn’t be fair to her. We loved her too much.

That was yesterday. I don’t know how but today is worse. She’s not there to wake me up and rub her face under my chin, put her paw on my face to wake me up. She’s not here to let out, let back in and watch her legs slide out from under her as she tries to round the corner into the kitchen as quick as she can to get to the bowl of food she knows is waiting. We keep looking up to see if she’s on her couch, our crappy old futon, and then realize she’s not there.

I’ve had her since she was a puppy and she was 11. She was my baby, my girl, my Grape Ape. I miss her so much. She was the main thing that got me thru my divorce. We took miles of walks together at Oglebay. I walked everywhere with her here at the house. She would lay in the sun near us while we worked outside. Her ears were so soft and velvety, and she smelled musky. She had a birth mark on her nose, and a patch of hair missing on her right hear where she had a spider bite. I picked at her, cleaned her ears, checked her skin, gave her baths, trimmed her nails, gave her her meds. She was part of everything of my day and night. And Dan’s too. This is killing him as well, it’s just harder on me I think because as a female who hasn’t had a baby yet, I’ve transferred all my maternal instincts to her. I miss her.

She had so much attitude and personality. She really did. She didn’t like other dogs, it seemed because they were beneath her. Because she of course wasn’t a dog. God I just hope she knew how much we loved her. I told her all the time. This hurts so much. I miss her so much.

We buried her ourselves and wrapped her in her dog bed cover. We buried her were I can see her out the kitchen window. She had a dedicated path through the woods from our house to our neighbors. She would go over there and bark at their door to be let in. She visited them everyday. We buried her right were she would walk into the woods. In the summer the greens were so dense she’d disappear from sight. We think it was her favorite place.

I knew this would happen one day, but you just never know, and never prepare. This might sound callous. But I don’t want to wait to long to get a puppy. I don’t want to forget her or replace her, but I need something to take care of. I need to add that back to my day, because without it, it seems so empty.Today I’m putting all her pictures together in a big frame collage as a memorial. It’s hard to pick which photos are the best. I just seemed to want to make each one I pick up as big as possible. I want them BIG so I can see her. I’m also writing a little book of all her "Aprilisms". There were many. This will take awhile. My heart is just broken I guess. I go a little while and I’m ok, then something hits me and I cry.

April was our dog, but she was so much more.
She was Grape Ape, our girl.

DC bound!

Yay! Getting out of work a little early today to get to DC earlier than usual. Really looking forward to getting out of WV for a bit. Seeing the city, riding the Metro, seeing our friends, eating good food, even doing a bit of food shopping for things I can't get here. It'll just be good to feel like we're getting away a bit.
Details and photos on Monday!

Oh, and life in general continues to be great! D the Amazing Mechanic managed to fix our garage door. It was broken when we moved into the house. Broken in the sense that we had to manually lift/close it. (we're not wussies - it was compounded by the fact the springs were all blown, so it was lifting a 300 lb door) For under a hundred bucks and several hours of his hard work, we now have a fully functioning automatic garage door. It's silly, yet thrilling. I've never had one before.

You know you're in your 30's and infertile when...

Once again the funny irony of infertility hits home.

Today I got an email from my dad. He forwarded me a link from WebMD about an infertility article. Basically about what position you should "do it" in to help increase your chances of getting pregnant. I just think that's terribbly funny considering at one point in his life, this man was probably terrified that I'd get pregnant.

It was also a very sweet thought. Just FYI - I've got three books and they all dedicate several chapters to "how to do it". We're getting pretty good at it. : )

Gaarrrrlicc!!

It has taken me the longer part of a day to realize why I've been burping garlic all morning and my tongue tasts like a garlic clove. I totally believe in vitamins and supplements. I've always taken a multi-vit. I usually also take a garlic capsule and sometimes a few acidophilius tablets. (all good for the tummy) I had run out of garlic capsules, and last night I bought a new bottle at K-Mart. Holy cow. It said "odorless", and when I opened the bottle it was, but man - I have never had this reaction before! My tongue feels swollen. I've had mints, chewed gum...I can't wait to get home to brush my teeth. All I can taste is garlic!! I need to get rid of those and get a new bottle and take note so I don't get them again.

It's allll coming together now...

I realy like March so far! In one day, so many things seem to be going right. Like a nice streak of good things is coming our way for a change. Even just the little things are adding up.

• I got a bonus
• D fixed our garage door - this is a minor miracle. It now opens and closed with a finger, instead of a back breaking wrenching motion. We are one step closer to it being automated. He is a wiz at this stuff
• AEP power not only credited us for the next two months, we actually got our budget to drop another $20 a month. All hail the power of the woodburner and the effort D has put into cutting, hauling and chopping wood this year!!
• I got a really good haircut for once (like I said - little things)

And drum-roll please...D had a second interview yesterday that went really well. If he gets this it will be huge. In so many ways.

Apart from waiting to hear back from them, we've got lots of other things to look forward to as well. A wedding the end of this month that is going to be Kick-Ass. Over 50% of the people there will be either from Ireland, or really Irish-American. The drinking and reveling will be awesome. Can't wait for this. We then have D's brother's wedding hupla this spring. Showers, Bach parties, and the wedding itself. Later in March I'm going with N to hear her favorite author speak in Pittsburgh. I think it's Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. Looking forward to it. She's all pumped cuz she just found out her neighbor is really good friends with the author and is having her over for a dinner party the night before, and N was invited.

Oh - and of course, Daylight Savings isn't far off. This can't get here soon enough. More sunshine - yes please! I ordered all my garden seeds and plants last week with my dad. We'll be starting the seeds very soon!

You know you grew up here if...

• You know if other West Virginians are from southern or northern West Virginia as soon as they open their mouths.
• You measure distance in minutes.
• You know how to navigate both "Chicken Neck" and "Suicide" Hills
• You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where you at?"
• You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
• The local paper covered national and international headlines on one page but required six pages for high school sports.
• You know where the park is...and you've driven by to see people golfing in the snow there.
• You know the subtle differences among Dicarlo's pizza... uptown, in the Grove,in Wellsburg, and in Glendale.
• You speak to a group by saying, "Yuns"
• It's warsh not wash...
• It's crick not creek...
• It's a buggy not a cart...(although I say cart)
• It's pop not soda...
• You know there is a difference between Elm Grove and Woodsdale.
• You know that a West Wheeling does exist and it's in Ohio.
• You went to Tridelphia High, Wheeling High, Warwood High, or Wheeling Central.
• You call the local supermarket "Krogers" even though it is really called "Kroger".
• you have ever used a row boat to get to your bedroom window.
• you've ever waited in line for more than ten minutes for a fish sandwich made with Wonder bread.
• you refer to Washington, Pennsylvania as "Little Washington."
• you've ever played golf on a course where you need a ski lift to get from the tee to the green.